Questions
for feedback, the collective, and a NYT review
Hello and welcome to Wondering and Wandering! These newsletters start with something I am loving (SO good); move on to one of my adventures, impressions, or encounters and their greater cultural implications and societal suggestions in poem form (Free Space); and end on some wild thing I’ve experienced while living in New York City (Once Upon a Time in NY). Happy reading!
I have a complicated relationship with questions, those I ask and receive. Typically, I prefer scenarios in which conversations flow from sources of expressive freedom, without the need for prompting. If my counterpart does not feel like sharing more, I rarely push them. Questions can display interest or seem imposing—I often shy away from the potential for the latter. In this newsletter, I’m leaning into the value of Q&A.
SO good
Feedback. I am a lover of feedback. I delight in knowing how I’m doing, how I’m being received, and what I’m like from outside views. Asking questions about personal and professional performance and receiving answers can be energizing for me, but it wasn’t always.
I used to see feedback as a challenge to my own internal “knowing,” as a compromise to the purity of my vision. Life in New York has drilled an essential pair of lessons into my head: (1) to not take anything personally and (2) to filter external environments, embracing what helps and releasing what does not. Now, I relish the opportunity to compare my intentions with alternative impressions of the impact of my actions. No (or far fewer) hard feelings!
That’s not to say all feedback is gold. It is often plated with ego and bias and sometimes plain rudeness. At the heart of feedback, though—positive or negative—is a portal into a different world with unique perspectives and preferences. I do love to travel.
Free Space
Ask
If you know you know. But if you don’t know must you ask? For help for clarity for an explanation. I love a lifeline but woudn't relying on the knowing of another mean theirs becomes yours? A shared knowing derivative in nature personal in practice. Maybe that's the point: with enough asking eventually we will all belong to each other.
Once Upon a Time in New York
During my three-month stint as a cheesemonger, I spent many days working solo at the tiny Upper West Side establishment of 67 Gourmet. One such day last March, when masks were still required in all NYC businesses, I unknowingly stood across the cheese counter from someone with much to benefit from going unidentified: a New York Times food critic by the name of Florence Fabricant.
In retrospect, I can’t be sure which customer she was. Many regular patrons fit her general profile and sincere interest in the store’s history and offerings. I would have greeted her and treated her like anyone else, smiling with my eyes and cheerfully answering her questions.
Toward the end of that day’s shift, I got a call from my boss with some news—the cheese shop was being reviewed and FloFab’s experience was a positive one! She liked the look of the place and was intrigued by our setup. AND THEN I learned she had a few words to share about yours truly.
Sadly, I was out the day the Times photographer came to capture the space—performing as an extra in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, you see. What a choice that was to make. The short and sweet review (I am not mentioned in) can be found here if you’d like to read it. In any case, please allow me this chance to publish my personal, unofficial review by a New York Times critic.
Christine Rock: “charming and knowledgeable.”
Hoping you receive rave reviews from someone special this week!
My best,
C